I have to. I will be plotted against if I do anything otherwise. I cannot use creativity or crows (though I really wanted to use the latter, having had a once-in-a-lifetime experience with said birds). I cannot use coffee (without which, first thing in the a.m., those around me would find themselves in peril).
So says Her Royal Highness Princess Fionna THE Cat, and the young upstart Rebel Kitten, our current Farm Cats in Residence.
That would be HRH Princess Fionna on the floor, Rebel on the table. Do not be deceived, they do not cohabitate peacefully.
I don’t consider myself a ‘cat person’ per se. There is absolutely no fear of me ever becoming that crazy cat lady that has so many she can’t keep track of them all. It seems, however, that there has always been a cat in my life, though it has not always been my cat. The majority of those I claimed as mine, or who claimed me as theirs (we know that’s really what happens) were grey tiger stripes. To be more accurate, according to Google, they were Mackerel Tabbys. Two exceptions to that rule stand out: Smokey, a Russian Blue, and Fionna’s predecessor Mozart, a red tiger (or red Mackerel, I guess. Though Tiger sounds far more fitting than the name of a fish, don’t you think?)
Anyone who knows cats, knows they rule the world. Without question. No, I have not been brainwashed. At least I don’t think I have. I suppose that’s always a possibility. I mean, would I really be able to recognize if I had been? Does the crazy person know they’re crazy?
Forget it. Answered my own question. This crazy person definitely knows she’s crazy.
In any case, any creature that can do this to Jig when she has a toy and not be thoroughly trounced definitely has one up on the rest of the world.
And now, in celebration of all that is catty, some interesting facts I know you’ve all been dying to know:
- Cats can rotate their ears 180 degrees
- Domestic cats spend 70% of their day sleeping and 15% grooming. As far as my two are concerned, I’m guessing the other 15% is split between antagonizing one another, mousing, checking in with their humans, and dealing with all that must be dealt with when one rules the world.
- Most cats have no eyelashes and cannot see directly beneath their nose.
- Cat’s whiskers grow to be as long as the cat is wide and act as curb feelers. If their whiskers won’t fit through an opening, they won’t. Good thing they aren’t as long as a cat is deep, or Fionna’s would be in the Guinness Book of World Records.
- A cat’s hearing is better than a dog’s.
- And, for those of you out there who are anti-cat, keep this historical tidbit in mind. During the Spanish Inquisition, Pope Innocent VIII declared cats to be evil and ordered them burned. The outcome of this widespread massacre, however, led to an explosion in the rat population, which exacerbated the effects of the Black Death.
Long live the Cat!
(Because I don’t want to be smothered in my sleep, that’s why.)